D-day

Tomorrow is D-day, the day I return to work. I can't believe that 12 weeks has gone by so fast. I am unbelievably sad to leave Mary Francis tomorrow. I took her to daycare for a half day last week, which was a good trial run, but I had a breakdown then and I'm sure I will totally lose it tomorrow. I am trying to deal with the reality of our situation and tell myself that this is ultimately a good thing for Mary Francis and me. I really do love the daycare that we found - it is a small, home-based daycare in Swampscott and Kirstin, the woman who runs it, is wonderful. She is very sweet and laid back. There is no TV, and she has a beautiful facility separate from the rest of her house and a huge backyard where the kids spend a lot of time when it is nice outside. I'm trying to convince myself that MFG will be well socialized spending so much time with other children and that it is good for me to go back to work. I do want to work - I think I would go a little stir-crazy eventually and my career is a big part of who I am, but 12 weeks just seems way too soon. The European countries do it right...a year of paid maternity leave. I'd love to go part-time, but we may not be able to swing that financially. I'll be working 4 days a week for now, and when that is no longer an option....well, we'll see. I know that lots of moms do this, but it doesn't make it any easier. And I'm sure they are just as miserable as I am to leave their babies. Keep us in your thoughts tomorrow, the day I go from being a Mom to a Working Mom.